Being one who doesn’t really making lists of resolutions whenever a new year approaches, this time I wanted to break the habit so here it comes. I’m not going super harsh on myself since I will most likely fail miserably, so a fairly easy and realistic aspects this list contains:
► Read at least a book / month
► Watch at least 2 movies / month (to the movie theater)
► Listen to at least a new album / month
► Draw at least one picture / month
► Go to yoga class at least 3 times / week
► Buy only 2-3 lipsticks / month
► Have a whole pamper routine at least once / month
► Take better care of my skin
► Only use my current perfumes, no new addition
► Learn guitar
► Learn German (complete the Duolingo’s course)
► Learn to do nails
► Immigrate to Australia
The last one seems to be absolutely out of context, but it’s exactly what I’m going to do. Quarter-life crisis eh? We will come to that later…
It might sound shocking even to myself that this is the first (and probably not last) Christmas being single in 6 years. Six years! I had been constantly in relationships since my second year in university so Christmas always involved all those significant others. However, after all the experiences, thick and thin, happinesses and sorrows, this time, it involves only one significant me.
It feels strange indeed to celebrate this time of year being a single person, not being or close-to-being in a relationship. In fact we didn’t do anything particular, but the feelings and all the thinkings about what to gift and how to spend the day had been quite engraved in my brain. This time, it’s all about me, because, after all, nobody loves me like me.
I decided to mark this milestone (oh fuck it, what’s wrong with being single anyways?) by breaking the habit of celebrating Christmas either at home or with a partner, but instead spending a good time in the highlands with my brother. It’s never been cold during Christmas where I live, and since it’s never a true Christmas without coldness, a new experience is so very welcomed. This should be the first time of me traveling to such highlands, and so of my brother – first timers we are! I’m already thinking of what to wear to appear bright and tasteful in pictures (but not freezing)… a breath of fresh cold air, and a fresh but warm me.
Last month of 2016, also the most exciting, busy and expensive month out of these twelve. Never before has spending money and having an event-packed schedule been this exciting. Today I’m jotting down a list of things and goals to (hopefully) be ticked off to celebrate the end of this year with a blast and in preparation for a whole new exciting 2017!
Self-indulgences – I have already treated myself some amazing things that will be soon featured on this blog (I am hoping a few have already been delivered to my parents’ home), but generally it’s all skincare (bottles of The Ordinary from Deciem being one, *cough*) with only a sprinkle of makeup. Just kidding, I’ve just bought 6 new lipsticks as soon as my salary was transfered to my bank account. Talk about self-control 😂. In defense, though, last month I fought again temptations bravely (or mostly because I was running out of cash) so this month it’s a reward for myself, plus it’s totally within my calculated budget.
Christmas decorations to be bought too, for the sake of a less boring desk at work. I have gone on and on about transforming my desk to a mini winterland but for the past 3 years and a half working here mine is always a bore. However this shopping trip can turn out to be disastrous since the Christmas-fanatic in me would want to buy ALL THE THINGS!
A few things to avoid at all costs, though – for example the Giorgio Armani “Acqua di Gioia” perfume that I became smitten with especially after personally tried it on in a Sephora. No more clothing haul comes second since last month was filled with new clothes I cannot afford to buy anymore (2 pairs of jeans, 3 dresses and a pair of shoes!) and who knows, whatever not on this list of self-indulgences and decorations.
November has surely gone away much faster than I thought. In fact, the whole eleven months of 2016 have done the same thing: we started the year thinking there would be plenty of time ahead but boom! now it’s the first day of December. I feel like being played, seriously. Is this how I get old day by day without myself even realizing? Scared? Yes. Excited? Hell yes! Let’s do some recap, dennoch (we will come to that later), for the shake of documenting my overly eventful month in preparation for the very last month and who knows, maybe appreciate it and live slower a little bit.
I made a big decision relationship-wise and now I feel better and more independent than ever. I used to be the one who wrote on my diary’s first page: Life Goals – Stay Single. Yep, that was me, circa before my two relationships that altogether lasted 5 years. Augusta V.2011 was almost like V.2016, going full circle it seems. The differences are, though, that now I know what love means and its power, but it’s not necessary to be with it at all times. Now I’m calmer and more of a believer in destiny. I can smile whenever seeing happy couples while being alone, but certainly not lonely.Read More »
Quick post today. As I was having lunch out with my colleagues, the topic of people easily getting away with almost everything in life surfaced and we were more than enthusiastic to discuss about it. There were only small talks and jokes but kept lingering in my mind. How many times have you seen sensational pictures or videos of conventionally “cute” people doing stupid shit but it all came down to “Oooohhhh how cute is that!”, be it a girl stuffing marshmallows in her mouth or a guy simply winking at you.
Think about how easy for those people to be considered as cute and able to be pardoned. Think about an “ugly” guy who winks at you and a “cute” one, won’t you automatically think “ewwww” about the ugly and “oh-em-gee” for the cute. Think about an “ugly” girl flirting at you to be considered “who the hell does she think she is!” and an “attractive” girl to be reciprocated. Being attractive and / or being attracted by equally attractive people boosts one’s ago and heightens one’s presumed value undoubtedly. It is understandable that people are automatically and unconsciously drawn to physically attractive people at first sight, regardless of what one person contains deep inside. Isn’t that what love at first sight is made of?Read More »
Only the beginning of November y’all, but it already feels a lot like Christmas. I insist on not having “All I Want For Christmas Is You” in full blast though. No shade, but I un-lowkey have a strong feeling about Mariah Carey (only second to Taylor Swift – that girl kills my ears, they need some love too but not from you, thank you very much). And guess what, first time ever I am narcissistic enough to use my face as the blog entry’s featured image.
Five days ago marked the date I had my hair cut to a pixie and dyed dark ashy blond. Back to just before that my hair was a lot of inches past my shoulders and had a fading ombre of dark purply-red and coppery red. I hated the length and I hated the color. I wanted to have it dyed so badly but they couldn’t tone it so I had to go home utterly disappointed and distressed. The idea of the pixie cut just came out of nowhere and something inside me just urged me to give it ago. After all, it’s just hair and it will always grow back. I’m not talking about brow hairs though, they’re a bitch that never proceeds to keep on giving. (Side note: really digging this color – it seems to shift in tone all the time from warm brond to dark brown thanks to the remnants of that purply-red streaks to slightly metallic (I know this sounds weird) honey blond to true ashy blond).Read More »
It’s strange to see yourself changing, for a long period everything seems to be on freeze and out of a sudden, all the ideas and plans and goals keep blooming and popping up. I have spent a good 25 years of my life leading an uneventful lifestyle apart from some occasional rebellions that in fact were limited within the circle of existential fears of social norms and personal laziness. There’s no denying that I’ve always been too lazy to participate in exciting things. I used my part time job (which was house keeping at the time) as an excuse to avoid going to fairs and take the interpreter’s role, valuing my me-time (which always include the monotonous activities such as painting nails and watching either movies or videos) over social happenings. I’ve always told myself against going to Rock Storm festivals for so many consecutive years with the reason that the bands performing were boring while in fact I myself was the boredom. I denied immigrating to Australia because I was waiting for my boyfriend at the time to marry me, which, neither happened. In short, I was lazy and knew nothing better than those small immediate comforts.
Fast forward to this very month when I consciously started to acknowledge the changes that have already happened for so long but I refused to realize, in how I think and function as human being. There are many with different levels of significance, but they define me as a person and who I am, now. This makes me question my prejudice that I would never change (a bold statement back then, now I feel like kicking my own butt for what I said) and that how much I will change in the coming years. Life seems to be a continuous journey of changes, learnings and improvements whether I consciously seek for them, or they just come totally unexpected.Read More »